Post by CCWrestling on May 23, 2021 20:29:01 GMT
We open up with Saylor Stanhouse dressed in the flauntiest of bikini’s as she held a microphone in hand.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing your host for tonight’s events which should have been me by the way… NEVE MARX.”
We go out to ringside where Neve Marx is similarly bikini clad, but she had a sweet ass fucking table all to herself. We went all out. Party goers all around.
Neve Marx: “Thank you for the bitchy introduction, Saylor. Before we get under way, we’re going to go backstage… and by backstage I mean one of the tents over by the stage because Brennan yelled at me that we were cost cutting when I asked him about it.”
She looked around awkwardly.
Neve Marx: “Hashtag Thot for Christ, yall!”
And with that brilliant segue, we were backstage, where Brennan Devlin was dressed in an alarmingly small pair of tiny shorts and he was flocked by tag partner Cecily Golding. Both of whom were immediately met by Chellsea, the main bitch in charge of the show.
Chellsea: “Brennan, you need to call me back when I call you. Did you get the ideas for the next Wrestling With Christ? We need to finalize something. Marty, Everly, Jake, Rochelle, everyone has them but you…”
Brennan Devlin: “Listen, I was gonna do that, but me and Cecily ended up hanging out and talking shit all day. My tag partner has the best personality.”
Cecily Golding: “I do.”
Brennan Devlin: “She does. But don’t worry, I got all those dumb papers, and I threw them out and finalized where this next show is anyway.”
Chellsea: “What?”
Brennan Devlin: “You have amazing ideas, you are my friend, I like you, you’re in a bikini right now so I’ll even picture you this way from here on in my head. But - no, I know what you like more than a reasonable pay per view location.”
Chellsea: “Daequan?”
Brennan Devlin: “Yes, but also money. Walk with me and talk with me, Chellsea.”
He motioned for her to join them as they went to watch the show, Chellsea seemingly intrigued by his idea as we fade into the opening contest.
Neve Marx: “Omg you guys Wrestling WIth Christ has a location and Brennan decided it but now I send you to ringside with Lazlo Goodlove and Nate Paxton!
Lazlo Goodlove: “Thanks Neve! If I were a couple years younger I’d make you a took woman.”
Nate Paxton: “Irene won’t let you do that, Laz.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Irene doesn’t let me do anything fun anymore.”
The depressed Lazlo Goodlove said as we go to Saylor Stanhouse with her microphone, floating around on a floaty unicorn thing.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall and will be under a 20 minute time limit!”
Rika def. Magnus.[/size][/i]
This match was a display of two CCW stalwarts, the magnetic personality of Rika versus the tried and tested skillset of Magnus. Ultimately, the two had a wrestling match, shocking for CCW. Rika would just offset the offense of Magnus and slide out with a victory on this occasion!
We’re back with Neve Marx at ringside. Neve was clearly giddy with anticipation, even though there was a particularly annoyed glance now and again at a man with a ‘forgive me Neve’ sign near her. But the professional Neve did her best to ignore this.
Neve Marx: “Big news from the backstage… tent… thing, we have breaking news on a surprise return here to CCW happening tonight and it is…”
Before she could say anything, the music of Conor Machina began to blare throughout the… beachfront. This place was god fucking awful for acoustics and crowd noise made it sound like a blur.
“Your time is up but I’m a robot now! You can see me but I’m a robot and I’ve got guns, POW.”
Something something. Conor hit the ring and the crowd went wild, then he immediately went for the apron and retrieved a microphone.
Conor Machina: “Cut my music. Now folks, we all know CCW’s coming around again for another Wrestling With Christ, and I think it’s about time for Conor Machina to make his return!”
Machina announced as the crowd cheered him on.
Conor Machina: “I know what you’re thinking, Conor Machina, here for a big payday. But it ain’t that chief, I’m here to work my way up just like everyone else… So that’s why I’m laying down an open challenge, the next man, woman, but not child because I want none of ya, Paris Traeger. The next any one of you that walks out here… You and I are going to Wrestling With Christ. So come on down, whoever you are! Let’s have a fight!”
Silence. Conor holding up the microphone as he waited for an answer..
Conor Machina: “Come on, there’s nobody out there that wants this opportunity?!”
Nothing.
Conor Machina: “They’re a little shy, so come on, make some noise and show em they can pick up some nerve yall!”
The crowd cheered, excited for what was happening, Conor was back and his open challenge had been laid!
Lazlo Goodlove: “Who will accept, Pax?!”
Nate Paxton: “Not me, that’s for sure!”
“Evil Got a Hold” by Cut One began to echo out in the confines, the crowd unfamiliar with the song but it was kind of a banger in a weird way. Then slowly, a disheveled looking man in a hat and button up shirt wandered onto the stage…
: “Conor Machina… It’s nice to finally meet you, brother.”
Conor Machina: “You know me, but I don’t know you… Let’s fix that?”
The man chuckled sinisterly on stage.
: “That will come soon, Conor. A few months ago, Santana had his little show, and you faced a man who was much like myself… a man who I felt a kinship with, even though we were not brothers. I felt a bond with this man as we were both similar creatures… You remember him, don’t you Conor? Or did you collect your payday and put that all in your past, as you mortals often do…”
So much pause rn.
Conor Machina: “You seem to know a lot about Walter Beckett, but he’s been long gone, so what’s your connection? And - if you think that paid out that good, you’re mistaken.”
Silence.
: “As I said, Con, I felt a kinship with the man. But whereas his pursuit against you fell, mine will not. You see, Conor. I am on a mission by God, he works through me, and you… You will suffer at his hands, because he will make me do things to you, Conor. He will unleash… the void and I will avenge my fallen brother.”
A pause...
: “My name, Conor, is Void Walker.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Wait a minute, Void Walker, the Conflict Pro Rumble Crown Champion, Void Walker?! He’d been missing in action since Twitter restricted his account!”
Nate Paxton: “And fuck them for it!”
Conor was seemingly unimpressed with Void Walker, glaring at him on the stage.
Conor Machina: “Well, son, if you wanna unleash the Void… do it right here, right now! Come on, I’m waiting!”
Lazlo Goodlove: “A challenge has been made, Paxton!”
Void couldn’t help but laugh at this challenge, simply shaking his head.
Void Walker: “I am not dressed to compete, Conor. I have not prayed within the last half hour… This ground is festering with the evil of this degeneracy, scantily clad women, sex, murder, blood, and so much filth it makes me sick to my stomach… but I know someone who will fight you, Conor. Tonight, if that is your wish?”
Conor Machina: “You better make like a genie and grant it then because otherwise, I’m coming up the ramp and dragging you to this god damn ring and…”
Out of nowhere, a figure attacks him! Void Walker is making his way to the ring as the man beats Conor with a chair.
Void Walker: “My father was a violent man, Conor. After my mama died, I begged and pleaded for a hero to save me and my brother… but no one did. Heroes like you… you could not save us… you could not save my brother, Ben…”
The man behind him wore a bunny suit from head to toe, with Void Walker standing beside of him.
Nate Paxton: “Wait a minute, that’s… Bun Bun!”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Bun Bun is Void Walkers brother?! How is a rabbit his brother?!”
Void stood there beside of Bun Bun, glancing to him, then down at Conor.
Lazlo Goodlove: “Bun Bun has never been this vicious before… what has happened?!”
Void Walker: “My brother clinged to his pet rabbit, until my father killed it, and made him eat it… Then he fixated on becoming him, and people like you could have saved us, Con! But you didn’t… and now, no one will save you from what’s coming… See you at Wrestling With Christ…”
Bun Bun and Void wandered from the ring, a chorus of boos reigning down… Conor inched up on the mat, grabbing the microphone.
Conor Machina: “There’s still some fight left in this body and we are not done, get back down here, Bun Bun, Void, whoever and I will beat your ass!”
Bun Bun started to walk to the ring, only for Void to stop him.
Void Walker: “That’s not the Christian way, don’t you get it, Conor? We’ll give you an hour… and then, we’re coming for you.”
The Double Dragons def Jason Van Owen and Maxx Bennett, and Regulators Inc.[/size][/i]
Maxx Bennett was unhappy from the start of this thing because she was in a tag team match and she wanted to shine solo. But she also wore a tiny bikini and was feeling nice. At one point in the match, Johnny Lee attempted to pin Maxx but she grinded her crotch on him and he immediately let the pin go. The Regulators jumped in and chaos unfolded with Sadie and Jane victimizing Maxx for some reason into the crowd, dragging her out where they fought by a seated Brennan Devlin who kept yelling about how they were hurting his daughter but he did not help them. Jason Van Owen was surrounded in the ring by the Double Dragons, and in spite of a valiant effort, Jeff Bogard would score the pin after a team finish from the Dragons.
In the crowd out by the ring, Brennan laid on a pool chair by a sunning Cecily Golding, interviewer Felicity Cash, a topless head of merchandising Dulce Desjardins, and Chellsea who seemed to be discussing business with them. Neve Marx was at ringside talking…
Neve Marx: “We’re about to go get a word with Brennan Devlin about tonight’s news about the venue for Wrestling With Christ, our next pay per view event but…”
A man loudly kept yelling at Neve to forgive him, something about loving her, almost causing her to smile. Then we go backstage as the camera catches a limousine pulling into the beachfronts parking lot!
Lazlo Goodlove: “Who could it be?!”
Nate Paxton: “Wait a minute!”
Natalie Traeger is seen getting out of the limo, taking care to get Paris Traeger out in her stroller!
Lazlo Goodlove: “PARIS TRAEGER IS IN CHRIST CENTERED WRESTLING, OH MY GOD! PARIS TRAEGER!”
Nate Paxton: “Brennan Devlin just looks like he’s seen a ghost!”
Brennan hopped up, whispering something to Cecily who was too busy tanning, while Chellsea looked confused. Devlin soon hopped the barricade and hit the ring.
Brennan Devlin: “Paris Traeger, I know you’re here with my fake mom, but GET YOUR BABY ASS OUT HERE, WE GOT BUSINESS TO SETTLE!”
The music of ‘Invasion’ by WCW’s music guy, you know, Goldberg’s song began to blare throughout the building. We cut to the back where somehow Paris already has a locker room, and a door kicks open, then Natalie Traeger pushes the baby out in a stroller.
Lazlo Goodlove: “What are we about to witness here, Paxton?”
Nate Paxton: “A confrontation between a man and a baby…”
Saylor Stanhouse: “Okay I’m joining the booth as the third, I can’t miss this. I hate him.”
Saylor said as she took a headset, the music blaring as sparks rained down on the stage and you could see the outline of the stroller coming through the tunnel. The locker room cleared out to keep Paris and Brennan apart. Brennan soon getting on the microphone as various members of the roster held them both back.
Brennan Devlin: “Paris Traeger, mom said she liked me better.”
Then, an awkward cut of Paris Traeger and what appears to be a baby doll dressed like her being thrown at Brennan. ‘Paris’ takes Brennan down!
Nate Paxton: “Paris Traeger just leaped over the entire locker room to get ahold of Brennan!”
Brennan Devlin: “DON’T EAT MY FACE! SHE’S BITING ME, AHHHHHHHH!”
Brennan ran around the ring punching ‘Paris’ before throwing her out of the ring! Paris hit the mat and we awkwardly cut to the actual baby just laying on the mat!
Saylor Stanhouse: “Did you see the vertical leap on that baby? Brennan can’t jump like that.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Why do you hate him so much, Saylor?”
Saylor Stanhouse: “We dated once, it was a whole thing. I don’t like to think about it.”
Out of nowhere, Brennan leaps onto the top rope and does a 450 Splash out into the crowd and we awkwardly cut to him landing on a dummy baby that is dressed like Paris! Though they kind of left Natalie Traeger and actual Paris in the shot!
Lazlo Goodlove: “Paris Traeger and Brennan Devlin exchanging blows here! It’s getting gruesome!”
In reality, Brennan was fighting a baby doll and they cut to footage of actual Paris, but that is a secret of the trade. The roster tried to get control of this chaos! Trying to break them up but ‘Paris Traeger’ started slugging anyone in her way!
Nate Paxton: “Absolute chaos here in CCW Thot for Christ!”
Saylor Stanhouse: “But the roster seems to be getting it under control, kill him, Paris!”
Eventually, someone held a microphone up to Paris, her lips didn’t move, and apparently someone sounding like Santana got paid to do the voice over.
‘Paris Traeger’: “BRENNAN DEVLIN I’LL SEE YOUR BITCH ASS AT PARIS TRAEGER PRESENTS!”
Natalie and Paris left as Brennan was tended to, Cecily coming to check on him.
Cecily Golding: “Omg Brennan what happened.”
Ricki Wilde def. Deanna T. Ford
[/size][/i]Whore on a Beach Match
In this one, the goal was for two bikini clad wrestlers to fight on the beachfront, and the only way to win was to strip your opponent. Deanna tried often to sexually advance on Ricki, but received a punch or kick for her troubles. Eventually, the match came to an end after Ricki nails her finish and strips Deanna Ford.
We get an ad for Winter Drell’s return before going to Chris Constantine Jr. standing in the middle of the ring, the former CCW World Champion ready to announce his next conquest.
Chris Constantine Jr.: “I’ve been CCW World Champion, but it’s been far, far too long since… I got sidetracked with Devlin, but I think it’s time I refocus on what matters around here. So, I am officially throwing my hat into the…”
Before he could say anything, some music began to play.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Wait a minute, that’s… Lisa Seldon’s music? Isn’t she scared of water?!”
The music blared through the building as Lisa Seldon wandered onto the stage with a microphone. Her music quit and she started to speak.
Lisa Seldon: *cat like screeching*
Lisa looked confused, before motioning at a stagehand for another microphone.
Lisa Seldon: *a lot of cat humping sounds*
Everyone seemed confused, even Lisa, as she looked down at the ring at Chris Constantine Jr.
Nate Paxton: “I think we’re having technical difficulties, apologies.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “She just talks like that sometimes, Pax, it’s fine.”
Growing frustrated, Lisa Seldon walked down to the ring where she could have words with Chris Constantine herself. Someone had left the cat noises on and it sounded like hell out here. Eventually, her and Constantine tried to converse in the ring but the cat noises overwhelmed them and eventually Seldon just decided to punch him in the face, and he punched her! The two broke out into a fight
Chellsea: “Stop it! Stop it! Stop with this dumb cat shit too!”
Chellsea grabbed a microphone, this one working because I’m scared of her.
Chellsea: “You two wanna fight? At Wrestling With Christ, you can fight, and the winner will get a CCW Championship match in the future!”
This did not hinder their fight, both of them continuing to go at it Chellsea yelled for security while the two fought into the crowd.
Presleigh: “Omg you guys we get to ring announce thank you Saylor!”
Blaire Baddeley: “Yessssss thank you!”
They both read their cue cards, bouncing around happily.
Presleigh: “The following contest is for the…”
Blaire Baddeley: “Chance to face Siberia Zombie at Wrestling WIth Christ for the CCW Television Championship yesss!”
Rivers def. Muddober McCoy[/size][/i]
Winner receives a shot at the Television Championship.
Rivers was in rare form tonight, whittling down the monster that is Muddober McCoy. Muddober would continue to attempt to use his size to his advantage, but ultimately, the independent wrestling of Rivers was too much and he would tap Muddober out via showing too much support for independent wrestling.
Siberia Zombie comes out as Rivers celebrates with Belle Valentine, the two have a staredown as she holds up the Television Championship.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Siberia Zombie has made her presence felt, and she has said no words. No, her actions here tonight are clearly to show Rivers she’s not worried!”
Nate Paxton: “That’s for sure, Saylor! And right now, we send you back to our colleagues at the much nicer hosting table than we get…”
Lazlo Goodlove: “That’s right, take it away, Neve!”
We go back with Neve at the sweet table she got for some reason, still being ‘heckled’ by that guy in the crowd wanting forgiveness or something as she is joined with guest analyst, Nicola Martin!
Neve Marx: “Thanks for joining me, this table was getting lonely.”
Nicola Martin: “Not a problem! What’s next?”
Neve went through the card in her mind before replying…
Neve Marx: “Well earlier in the night we saw the return of Conor Machina, who we hadn’t seen since The Greatest Wrestling With Christ. But he was attacked and now..”
Nicola Martin: “Now we get to see his in ring debut on CCW TV versus Bun Bun…”
Neve nodded at her, before asking a question.
Neve Marx: “Who are you predicting, Nicola? My vote is on Conor. I want cute Bun Bun back, not murder Bun Bun.”
Nicola Martin: “I’m going to say Bun Bun, we’ve never seen this side of this big guy before and now we finally get it. I’d be scared if I were him.”
Neve Marx: “Guess we’ll find out… back to you at ringside, Lazlo!”
Conor Machina def. Bun Bun[/size][/i]
Conor and Bun Bun went the limit for this one, with the classic muscular dude versus big man match. The gigantic Bun Bun beating down Conor for the majority, but Conor must have taken a lot of WD40 or something that day because sexy robot man powered through at the end. He hit his finisher whose name i forgot because i dont have my original account wtf. And Conor would get the pin!
Out of nowhere as the match ends, Conor had knocked the head of Bun Bun clean off… Well mask, and Void Walker was on him again! Void lifts Conor up and drops him with Advanced Darkness! Then Void wanders over to Bun Bun, extending a hand, his unmasked brother hiding his face, dark black locks hanging down.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Why was he under that mask? Bun Bun, or Ben I guess, is kind of cute…”
Lazlo Goodlove: “You are just the feminine touch we needed out here, Saylor.”
Saylor Stanhouse: “Thank you, I know.”
Void and the now unmasked Bun Bun stand over Conor, taunting him as we end the segment and go into the break.
Backstage… at the stupid tents idk, Rika was wandering down a path with a smile on her face. She had Pao Chan in tow and they were clearly ecstatic with their win… then, out of nowhere, she turns a corner and bumps into Astraea.
Astraea: “Oh, honey, you just made a mistake…”
Rika: “Wha…?”
Before she could say anything, Rimadonna attacks her from behind. Then CJ. Sweet appears and the group of them began stomping away at her.
Saylor Stanhouse: “What the hell! She just turned a corner!”
Lazlo Goodlove: “We saw this trio form during CJ.’s match with Brien Storm and it seems they are attempting to assert their dominance!”
Out of nowhere, Marty Kovacs ran up and started yelling.
Marty Kovacs: “Hey, get the hell out of here! This isn’t the Christian way, you were God’s Favorite, CJ!”
CJ shrugged as her, Rimadonna and Astraea backed off, Rika trying to get up.
Rika: “I want… CJ…”
She said as she tried gain her composure, and Marty nodded.
Marty Kovacs: “You know what? You’ve got it, CJ. You’re defending the Christcore Championship at Wrestling With Christ against Rika!”
Rima and Astraea yelled at him as CJ looked annoyed, while Rika glared past Marty at the champion…
The Children of the Moon (Julie and Bex) def. The Killer Baes (Astrid and Corrie)[/size][/i]
The Children of the Moon were heckled the majority of the match by Brew Collar on the outside, but the Killer Baes brought the fight. Ultimately, the end of the match came when during a comeback, Julie Miri was distracted by Jack Danielson. Astrid and Corrie would run at her, and clothesline Jack off the apron by mistake. This allowed the COTM to capitalize, and send Corrie out of the ring while they hit their tag finish on Astrid for the victory, and to attain a shot at the CCW Tag Team Championships.
Corrie and Astrid sat in the ring, frustrated. Astrid gets a microphone and is clearly pissed.
Astrid Weston: “You stank ass bitches Brew Collar!”
Corrie Tomsen: “And you dead eyed hoes, Children of the Moon! We’ve beaten you literally 700 times, Julie, Bex!”
Both of them were clearly caught in in their emotions, angry as they glared up at the stage.
Saylor Stanhouse: “I announce everything, has it been 700 times?”
Lazlo Goodlove: “One, I think.”
Both of them were huddled together, hugging, trying to calm eachother down.
Astrid Weston: “But your stupid numbers game isn’t gonna work, we have numbers too! You think you’ve beat us, well, there’s more Killer Baes and we’re bringing them to fuck you dumb hoes up!”
Corrie Tomsen: “You done messed up, bitches!”
An angry Killer Baes wandered out of the ring, leaving the crowd, and announcers confused… were more being added to the ranks of the tag team?!
Verity Sinclaire is backstage, dressed in her beach attire obviously, as Angel McMaster comes up in her own bikini although a robe as well.
Angel McMaster: “Ugh, Verity, have you seen my dad?”
Verity shook her head.
Verity Sinclaire: “I was supposed to meet you and him here… where…”
Out of nowhere, a crowd of people screamed as Angel rushed off to see what had happened, curious. There, Mitch McMaster hopped out of a convertible which read ‘HEY BITCH’ on the windshield for some reason. He had driven through a crowd of people, and several women got out of the vehicle alongside him, only for him to proceed to chase them in circles around the car.
Angel McMaster: “Dad! Stop letting these women flirt with you, you have a match! Don’t let them seduce you.”
Mitch McMaster: “You’re right honey… fucking harlots. HEY BITCH, YOU’RE A HARLOT.”
He pointed at the woman nearby he had been chasing, some brunette, who knows. Then out of nowhere, Chellsea appeared.
Chellsea: “I guess you both think this is cute, huh, and that you have it easy tonight, Angel? Well don’t get used to it.”
Angel McMaster: “I always have it easy, I’m Angel…”
Chellsea: “Let me finish, because the morning before Wrestling With Christ, you’re going to be in action against a surprise opponent in the main event of CCW Sunday School.”
Chellsea glared at her, and Angel smugly pattered the CCW World Championship.
Angel McMaster: “Tell them I’ll be waiting.”
She turned only to run into Mykie Villanueva, who was followed closely by Mitch McMasters old friend and stable mate Barry, who looks like Batista so you get the joke.
Mykie Villanueva: “See you soon, champ.”
She said as she taunted her, before walking away and leaving Angel looking annoyed. Mitch was staring at Chellsea’s butt as she walked away, then looked to Angel.
Mitch McMaster: “Why was Barry here?”
Before Angel could let out her annoyed sigh, Santana Johnson tried to attack Mitch and the two have a screaming match as people from the locker room try to break them up!
Santana Johnson def. Mitch McMaster[/size][/i]
Pool Party Massacre
If Santana wins, he receives a shot at the CCW World Championship.
After a rousing entrance to ‘Eff Grandad’ by Thugnificent of Boondocks fame, Santana was blindsided by Mitch McMaster who hit him with a weed wacker. He was too drunk to get it started, but even while drunk Mitch wrestled like a pro, half his classics against Edmonton Sharpe back in the day were drunk!
Santana and Mitch battled back and forth for a large portion of this contest, with Santana fighting him around the ringside. Angel McMaster watched on from a custom throne at ringside, taunting Santana with the title when he’d look to her. But this didn’t stop him from squaring up on Mitch, then eventually attempting to drown Mitch in the pool. But this didn’t stop McMaster… He had so much alcohol in him right now he might have been immortal, so he kicked Santana and hit him in his big ol dick.
Santana: “AH, MY BIG OL DICK”[/i]
He said it like that, he did, trust me, I was there. Mitch was getting fired up! Santana pulled a knife and stabbed at him, Mitch catches his hand and knocks the knife away! Repeated headbutts! Santana had taken trauma to the head so much, his one weakness! Just in his career, not in this match in general! Mitch then grabbed a random boat paddle we just had here because beach for some reason and broke it over Santanas head, then lifts him up, McMaster Move for the 1… 2…. 2 ½… KICKOUT OH MY GOD THE CROWD CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
Mitch McMaster: “You wanna be crazy, I’m gonna be crazy!”[/i]
Mitch yelled, grabbing some lighter fluid and dragging Santana into the ring. He doused the ring in lighter fluid, but he then grabbed Mitch by his big ol dick!
Santana: “PRISON RULES MOTHERFUCKER!”[/i]
Santana did not treat the penis with the gentleness required and threw Mitch into the turnbuckle. Angel looked on in horror.
Santana: “GONNA BURN THIS OLD MOTHERFUCKER!”[/i]
Mitch McMaster: “DON’T BURN ME.”[/i]
He then lit the ring on fire but both of them were in it and this did not go according to plan. Both of them jumping out of the ring on fire as Santana jumped into the water, and Mitch got put out by a fire extinguisher. Mitch was still crawling around, smoking, when Santana came back up out of the water by him and drove him into the ground with his finisher, both men smoking on the ground as he pins him… 1… 2… 3…
Angel McMaster rushed to the ringside and blindsides Santana as he celebrates his win. Angry about her father, she stomps away at him, before lifting him over head and hitting him with the Angel From Above!
Saylor Stanhouse: “Angel just like, out of nowhere here, but can you blame her?! What this man did to her father!”
Nate Paxton: “I agree, it’s all on Santana!”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Santana did what he had to do and now he has to pay for it? Mitch tried to set him on fire first!”
Angel was tending to her father nearby, security finally getting here and we hear Santana yelling, still conscious.
Santana Johnson: “I’MA BE CCW CHAMPION, WATCH YO ASS.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Santana Johnson wins a shot at the gold at Wrestling With Christ and… wait a minute. Something backstage?”
Backstage, or well, behind the tent, Jacob Kuntz watched a monitor, a trail of sand behind him because he had became a part of the sand.
Voice but it sounds spooky like a ghost: “See, that could have been your dick out there being grabbed, or doing the grabbing, dick guy.”
Jacob Kuntz: “Why are you doing that voice? It’s sexy, continue.”
Marty Kovacs: “Okay bye.”
Clearly Jacob Kuntz had something on his mind as he watched on, clearly wanting the CCW World Championship… but what did that mean?!
Several weeks later, the show had been taped, but something had happened… CCW’s twitter account had been taken down because some dumbass with access to the account typed the word ‘covid’ in a tweet. For real, don’t do that, they think you’re a bot. The set remained on the beach, but upon arrival, the man noticed there was no one there. But blood stains all over the beach, the ring burned to a cinder…
Man: “Where did everyone go?”
The guy said as he walked into the ghost town of a wrestling show, eventually walking past several bodies floating face down in a pool such as a blonde man, some big muscley guy, that might have been a hell cat, some stabby deathmatch guy and more. Eventually, the man picked up a flyer and began to turn it over, the blood soaked logo appearing in front of him..
Man: “The fuck is Super Wrestling With Christ, and why is it in Saudi Arabia?”
Before he could say anything else, someone leaped out of the sand and dragged him beneath it like that movie Sand Sharks, because I want a Sand Sharks reference in here.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing your host for tonight’s events which should have been me by the way… NEVE MARX.”
We go out to ringside where Neve Marx is similarly bikini clad, but she had a sweet ass fucking table all to herself. We went all out. Party goers all around.
Neve Marx: “Thank you for the bitchy introduction, Saylor. Before we get under way, we’re going to go backstage… and by backstage I mean one of the tents over by the stage because Brennan yelled at me that we were cost cutting when I asked him about it.”
She looked around awkwardly.
Neve Marx: “Hashtag Thot for Christ, yall!”
And with that brilliant segue, we were backstage, where Brennan Devlin was dressed in an alarmingly small pair of tiny shorts and he was flocked by tag partner Cecily Golding. Both of whom were immediately met by Chellsea, the main bitch in charge of the show.
Chellsea: “Brennan, you need to call me back when I call you. Did you get the ideas for the next Wrestling With Christ? We need to finalize something. Marty, Everly, Jake, Rochelle, everyone has them but you…”
Brennan Devlin: “Listen, I was gonna do that, but me and Cecily ended up hanging out and talking shit all day. My tag partner has the best personality.”
Cecily Golding: “I do.”
Brennan Devlin: “She does. But don’t worry, I got all those dumb papers, and I threw them out and finalized where this next show is anyway.”
Chellsea: “What?”
Brennan Devlin: “You have amazing ideas, you are my friend, I like you, you’re in a bikini right now so I’ll even picture you this way from here on in my head. But - no, I know what you like more than a reasonable pay per view location.”
Chellsea: “Daequan?”
Brennan Devlin: “Yes, but also money. Walk with me and talk with me, Chellsea.”
He motioned for her to join them as they went to watch the show, Chellsea seemingly intrigued by his idea as we fade into the opening contest.
Neve Marx: “Omg you guys Wrestling WIth Christ has a location and Brennan decided it but now I send you to ringside with Lazlo Goodlove and Nate Paxton!
Lazlo Goodlove: “Thanks Neve! If I were a couple years younger I’d make you a took woman.”
Nate Paxton: “Irene won’t let you do that, Laz.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Irene doesn’t let me do anything fun anymore.”
The depressed Lazlo Goodlove said as we go to Saylor Stanhouse with her microphone, floating around on a floaty unicorn thing.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall and will be under a 20 minute time limit!”
Rika def. Magnus.[/size][/i]
This match was a display of two CCW stalwarts, the magnetic personality of Rika versus the tried and tested skillset of Magnus. Ultimately, the two had a wrestling match, shocking for CCW. Rika would just offset the offense of Magnus and slide out with a victory on this occasion!
We’re back with Neve Marx at ringside. Neve was clearly giddy with anticipation, even though there was a particularly annoyed glance now and again at a man with a ‘forgive me Neve’ sign near her. But the professional Neve did her best to ignore this.
Neve Marx: “Big news from the backstage… tent… thing, we have breaking news on a surprise return here to CCW happening tonight and it is…”
Before she could say anything, the music of Conor Machina began to blare throughout the… beachfront. This place was god fucking awful for acoustics and crowd noise made it sound like a blur.
“Your time is up but I’m a robot now! You can see me but I’m a robot and I’ve got guns, POW.”
Something something. Conor hit the ring and the crowd went wild, then he immediately went for the apron and retrieved a microphone.
Conor Machina: “Cut my music. Now folks, we all know CCW’s coming around again for another Wrestling With Christ, and I think it’s about time for Conor Machina to make his return!”
Machina announced as the crowd cheered him on.
Conor Machina: “I know what you’re thinking, Conor Machina, here for a big payday. But it ain’t that chief, I’m here to work my way up just like everyone else… So that’s why I’m laying down an open challenge, the next man, woman, but not child because I want none of ya, Paris Traeger. The next any one of you that walks out here… You and I are going to Wrestling With Christ. So come on down, whoever you are! Let’s have a fight!”
Silence. Conor holding up the microphone as he waited for an answer..
Conor Machina: “Come on, there’s nobody out there that wants this opportunity?!”
Nothing.
Conor Machina: “They’re a little shy, so come on, make some noise and show em they can pick up some nerve yall!”
The crowd cheered, excited for what was happening, Conor was back and his open challenge had been laid!
Lazlo Goodlove: “Who will accept, Pax?!”
Nate Paxton: “Not me, that’s for sure!”
“Evil Got a Hold” by Cut One began to echo out in the confines, the crowd unfamiliar with the song but it was kind of a banger in a weird way. Then slowly, a disheveled looking man in a hat and button up shirt wandered onto the stage…
: “Conor Machina… It’s nice to finally meet you, brother.”Conor Machina: “You know me, but I don’t know you… Let’s fix that?”
The man chuckled sinisterly on stage.
: “That will come soon, Conor. A few months ago, Santana had his little show, and you faced a man who was much like myself… a man who I felt a kinship with, even though we were not brothers. I felt a bond with this man as we were both similar creatures… You remember him, don’t you Conor? Or did you collect your payday and put that all in your past, as you mortals often do…”So much pause rn.
Conor Machina: “You seem to know a lot about Walter Beckett, but he’s been long gone, so what’s your connection? And - if you think that paid out that good, you’re mistaken.”
Silence.
: “As I said, Con, I felt a kinship with the man. But whereas his pursuit against you fell, mine will not. You see, Conor. I am on a mission by God, he works through me, and you… You will suffer at his hands, because he will make me do things to you, Conor. He will unleash… the void and I will avenge my fallen brother.”A pause...
: “My name, Conor, is Void Walker.”Lazlo Goodlove: “Wait a minute, Void Walker, the Conflict Pro Rumble Crown Champion, Void Walker?! He’d been missing in action since Twitter restricted his account!”
Nate Paxton: “And fuck them for it!”
Conor was seemingly unimpressed with Void Walker, glaring at him on the stage.
Conor Machina: “Well, son, if you wanna unleash the Void… do it right here, right now! Come on, I’m waiting!”
Lazlo Goodlove: “A challenge has been made, Paxton!”
Void couldn’t help but laugh at this challenge, simply shaking his head.
Void Walker: “I am not dressed to compete, Conor. I have not prayed within the last half hour… This ground is festering with the evil of this degeneracy, scantily clad women, sex, murder, blood, and so much filth it makes me sick to my stomach… but I know someone who will fight you, Conor. Tonight, if that is your wish?”
Conor Machina: “You better make like a genie and grant it then because otherwise, I’m coming up the ramp and dragging you to this god damn ring and…”
Out of nowhere, a figure attacks him! Void Walker is making his way to the ring as the man beats Conor with a chair.
Void Walker: “My father was a violent man, Conor. After my mama died, I begged and pleaded for a hero to save me and my brother… but no one did. Heroes like you… you could not save us… you could not save my brother, Ben…”
The man behind him wore a bunny suit from head to toe, with Void Walker standing beside of him.
Nate Paxton: “Wait a minute, that’s… Bun Bun!”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Bun Bun is Void Walkers brother?! How is a rabbit his brother?!”
Void stood there beside of Bun Bun, glancing to him, then down at Conor.
Lazlo Goodlove: “Bun Bun has never been this vicious before… what has happened?!”
Void Walker: “My brother clinged to his pet rabbit, until my father killed it, and made him eat it… Then he fixated on becoming him, and people like you could have saved us, Con! But you didn’t… and now, no one will save you from what’s coming… See you at Wrestling With Christ…”
Bun Bun and Void wandered from the ring, a chorus of boos reigning down… Conor inched up on the mat, grabbing the microphone.
Conor Machina: “There’s still some fight left in this body and we are not done, get back down here, Bun Bun, Void, whoever and I will beat your ass!”
Bun Bun started to walk to the ring, only for Void to stop him.
Void Walker: “That’s not the Christian way, don’t you get it, Conor? We’ll give you an hour… and then, we’re coming for you.”
The Double Dragons def Jason Van Owen and Maxx Bennett, and Regulators Inc.[/size][/i]
Maxx Bennett was unhappy from the start of this thing because she was in a tag team match and she wanted to shine solo. But she also wore a tiny bikini and was feeling nice. At one point in the match, Johnny Lee attempted to pin Maxx but she grinded her crotch on him and he immediately let the pin go. The Regulators jumped in and chaos unfolded with Sadie and Jane victimizing Maxx for some reason into the crowd, dragging her out where they fought by a seated Brennan Devlin who kept yelling about how they were hurting his daughter but he did not help them. Jason Van Owen was surrounded in the ring by the Double Dragons, and in spite of a valiant effort, Jeff Bogard would score the pin after a team finish from the Dragons.
In the crowd out by the ring, Brennan laid on a pool chair by a sunning Cecily Golding, interviewer Felicity Cash, a topless head of merchandising Dulce Desjardins, and Chellsea who seemed to be discussing business with them. Neve Marx was at ringside talking…
Neve Marx: “We’re about to go get a word with Brennan Devlin about tonight’s news about the venue for Wrestling With Christ, our next pay per view event but…”
A man loudly kept yelling at Neve to forgive him, something about loving her, almost causing her to smile. Then we go backstage as the camera catches a limousine pulling into the beachfronts parking lot!
Lazlo Goodlove: “Who could it be?!”
Nate Paxton: “Wait a minute!”
Natalie Traeger is seen getting out of the limo, taking care to get Paris Traeger out in her stroller!
Lazlo Goodlove: “PARIS TRAEGER IS IN CHRIST CENTERED WRESTLING, OH MY GOD! PARIS TRAEGER!”
Nate Paxton: “Brennan Devlin just looks like he’s seen a ghost!”
Brennan hopped up, whispering something to Cecily who was too busy tanning, while Chellsea looked confused. Devlin soon hopped the barricade and hit the ring.
Brennan Devlin: “Paris Traeger, I know you’re here with my fake mom, but GET YOUR BABY ASS OUT HERE, WE GOT BUSINESS TO SETTLE!”
The music of ‘Invasion’ by WCW’s music guy, you know, Goldberg’s song began to blare throughout the building. We cut to the back where somehow Paris already has a locker room, and a door kicks open, then Natalie Traeger pushes the baby out in a stroller.
Lazlo Goodlove: “What are we about to witness here, Paxton?”
Nate Paxton: “A confrontation between a man and a baby…”
Saylor Stanhouse: “Okay I’m joining the booth as the third, I can’t miss this. I hate him.”
Saylor said as she took a headset, the music blaring as sparks rained down on the stage and you could see the outline of the stroller coming through the tunnel. The locker room cleared out to keep Paris and Brennan apart. Brennan soon getting on the microphone as various members of the roster held them both back.
Brennan Devlin: “Paris Traeger, mom said she liked me better.”
Then, an awkward cut of Paris Traeger and what appears to be a baby doll dressed like her being thrown at Brennan. ‘Paris’ takes Brennan down!
Nate Paxton: “Paris Traeger just leaped over the entire locker room to get ahold of Brennan!”
Brennan Devlin: “DON’T EAT MY FACE! SHE’S BITING ME, AHHHHHHHH!”
Brennan ran around the ring punching ‘Paris’ before throwing her out of the ring! Paris hit the mat and we awkwardly cut to the actual baby just laying on the mat!
Saylor Stanhouse: “Did you see the vertical leap on that baby? Brennan can’t jump like that.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Why do you hate him so much, Saylor?”
Saylor Stanhouse: “We dated once, it was a whole thing. I don’t like to think about it.”
Out of nowhere, Brennan leaps onto the top rope and does a 450 Splash out into the crowd and we awkwardly cut to him landing on a dummy baby that is dressed like Paris! Though they kind of left Natalie Traeger and actual Paris in the shot!
Lazlo Goodlove: “Paris Traeger and Brennan Devlin exchanging blows here! It’s getting gruesome!”
In reality, Brennan was fighting a baby doll and they cut to footage of actual Paris, but that is a secret of the trade. The roster tried to get control of this chaos! Trying to break them up but ‘Paris Traeger’ started slugging anyone in her way!
Nate Paxton: “Absolute chaos here in CCW Thot for Christ!”
Saylor Stanhouse: “But the roster seems to be getting it under control, kill him, Paris!”
Eventually, someone held a microphone up to Paris, her lips didn’t move, and apparently someone sounding like Santana got paid to do the voice over.
‘Paris Traeger’: “BRENNAN DEVLIN I’LL SEE YOUR BITCH ASS AT PARIS TRAEGER PRESENTS!”
Natalie and Paris left as Brennan was tended to, Cecily coming to check on him.
Cecily Golding: “Omg Brennan what happened.”
Ricki Wilde def. Deanna T. Ford
[/size][/i]Whore on a Beach Match
In this one, the goal was for two bikini clad wrestlers to fight on the beachfront, and the only way to win was to strip your opponent. Deanna tried often to sexually advance on Ricki, but received a punch or kick for her troubles. Eventually, the match came to an end after Ricki nails her finish and strips Deanna Ford.
We get an ad for Winter Drell’s return before going to Chris Constantine Jr. standing in the middle of the ring, the former CCW World Champion ready to announce his next conquest.
Chris Constantine Jr.: “I’ve been CCW World Champion, but it’s been far, far too long since… I got sidetracked with Devlin, but I think it’s time I refocus on what matters around here. So, I am officially throwing my hat into the…”
Before he could say anything, some music began to play.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Wait a minute, that’s… Lisa Seldon’s music? Isn’t she scared of water?!”
The music blared through the building as Lisa Seldon wandered onto the stage with a microphone. Her music quit and she started to speak.
Lisa Seldon: *cat like screeching*
Lisa looked confused, before motioning at a stagehand for another microphone.
Lisa Seldon: *a lot of cat humping sounds*
Everyone seemed confused, even Lisa, as she looked down at the ring at Chris Constantine Jr.
Nate Paxton: “I think we’re having technical difficulties, apologies.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “She just talks like that sometimes, Pax, it’s fine.”
Growing frustrated, Lisa Seldon walked down to the ring where she could have words with Chris Constantine herself. Someone had left the cat noises on and it sounded like hell out here. Eventually, her and Constantine tried to converse in the ring but the cat noises overwhelmed them and eventually Seldon just decided to punch him in the face, and he punched her! The two broke out into a fight
Chellsea: “Stop it! Stop it! Stop with this dumb cat shit too!”
Chellsea grabbed a microphone, this one working because I’m scared of her.
Chellsea: “You two wanna fight? At Wrestling With Christ, you can fight, and the winner will get a CCW Championship match in the future!”
This did not hinder their fight, both of them continuing to go at it Chellsea yelled for security while the two fought into the crowd.
Presleigh: “Omg you guys we get to ring announce thank you Saylor!”
Blaire Baddeley: “Yessssss thank you!”
They both read their cue cards, bouncing around happily.
Presleigh: “The following contest is for the…”
Blaire Baddeley: “Chance to face Siberia Zombie at Wrestling WIth Christ for the CCW Television Championship yesss!”
Rivers def. Muddober McCoy[/size][/i]
Winner receives a shot at the Television Championship.
Rivers was in rare form tonight, whittling down the monster that is Muddober McCoy. Muddober would continue to attempt to use his size to his advantage, but ultimately, the independent wrestling of Rivers was too much and he would tap Muddober out via showing too much support for independent wrestling.
Siberia Zombie comes out as Rivers celebrates with Belle Valentine, the two have a staredown as she holds up the Television Championship.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Siberia Zombie has made her presence felt, and she has said no words. No, her actions here tonight are clearly to show Rivers she’s not worried!”
Nate Paxton: “That’s for sure, Saylor! And right now, we send you back to our colleagues at the much nicer hosting table than we get…”
Lazlo Goodlove: “That’s right, take it away, Neve!”
We go back with Neve at the sweet table she got for some reason, still being ‘heckled’ by that guy in the crowd wanting forgiveness or something as she is joined with guest analyst, Nicola Martin!
Neve Marx: “Thanks for joining me, this table was getting lonely.”
Nicola Martin: “Not a problem! What’s next?”
Neve went through the card in her mind before replying…
Neve Marx: “Well earlier in the night we saw the return of Conor Machina, who we hadn’t seen since The Greatest Wrestling With Christ. But he was attacked and now..”
Nicola Martin: “Now we get to see his in ring debut on CCW TV versus Bun Bun…”
Neve nodded at her, before asking a question.
Neve Marx: “Who are you predicting, Nicola? My vote is on Conor. I want cute Bun Bun back, not murder Bun Bun.”
Nicola Martin: “I’m going to say Bun Bun, we’ve never seen this side of this big guy before and now we finally get it. I’d be scared if I were him.”
Neve Marx: “Guess we’ll find out… back to you at ringside, Lazlo!”
Conor Machina def. Bun Bun[/size][/i]
Conor and Bun Bun went the limit for this one, with the classic muscular dude versus big man match. The gigantic Bun Bun beating down Conor for the majority, but Conor must have taken a lot of WD40 or something that day because sexy robot man powered through at the end. He hit his finisher whose name i forgot because i dont have my original account wtf. And Conor would get the pin!
Out of nowhere as the match ends, Conor had knocked the head of Bun Bun clean off… Well mask, and Void Walker was on him again! Void lifts Conor up and drops him with Advanced Darkness! Then Void wanders over to Bun Bun, extending a hand, his unmasked brother hiding his face, dark black locks hanging down.
Saylor Stanhouse: “Why was he under that mask? Bun Bun, or Ben I guess, is kind of cute…”
Lazlo Goodlove: “You are just the feminine touch we needed out here, Saylor.”
Saylor Stanhouse: “Thank you, I know.”
Void and the now unmasked Bun Bun stand over Conor, taunting him as we end the segment and go into the break.
Backstage… at the stupid tents idk, Rika was wandering down a path with a smile on her face. She had Pao Chan in tow and they were clearly ecstatic with their win… then, out of nowhere, she turns a corner and bumps into Astraea.
Astraea: “Oh, honey, you just made a mistake…”
Rika: “Wha…?”
Before she could say anything, Rimadonna attacks her from behind. Then CJ. Sweet appears and the group of them began stomping away at her.
Saylor Stanhouse: “What the hell! She just turned a corner!”
Lazlo Goodlove: “We saw this trio form during CJ.’s match with Brien Storm and it seems they are attempting to assert their dominance!”
Out of nowhere, Marty Kovacs ran up and started yelling.
Marty Kovacs: “Hey, get the hell out of here! This isn’t the Christian way, you were God’s Favorite, CJ!”
CJ shrugged as her, Rimadonna and Astraea backed off, Rika trying to get up.
Rika: “I want… CJ…”
She said as she tried gain her composure, and Marty nodded.
Marty Kovacs: “You know what? You’ve got it, CJ. You’re defending the Christcore Championship at Wrestling With Christ against Rika!”
Rima and Astraea yelled at him as CJ looked annoyed, while Rika glared past Marty at the champion…
The Children of the Moon (Julie and Bex) def. The Killer Baes (Astrid and Corrie)[/size][/i]
The Children of the Moon were heckled the majority of the match by Brew Collar on the outside, but the Killer Baes brought the fight. Ultimately, the end of the match came when during a comeback, Julie Miri was distracted by Jack Danielson. Astrid and Corrie would run at her, and clothesline Jack off the apron by mistake. This allowed the COTM to capitalize, and send Corrie out of the ring while they hit their tag finish on Astrid for the victory, and to attain a shot at the CCW Tag Team Championships.
Corrie and Astrid sat in the ring, frustrated. Astrid gets a microphone and is clearly pissed.
Astrid Weston: “You stank ass bitches Brew Collar!”
Corrie Tomsen: “And you dead eyed hoes, Children of the Moon! We’ve beaten you literally 700 times, Julie, Bex!”
Both of them were clearly caught in in their emotions, angry as they glared up at the stage.
Saylor Stanhouse: “I announce everything, has it been 700 times?”
Lazlo Goodlove: “One, I think.”
Both of them were huddled together, hugging, trying to calm eachother down.
Astrid Weston: “But your stupid numbers game isn’t gonna work, we have numbers too! You think you’ve beat us, well, there’s more Killer Baes and we’re bringing them to fuck you dumb hoes up!”
Corrie Tomsen: “You done messed up, bitches!”
An angry Killer Baes wandered out of the ring, leaving the crowd, and announcers confused… were more being added to the ranks of the tag team?!
Verity Sinclaire is backstage, dressed in her beach attire obviously, as Angel McMaster comes up in her own bikini although a robe as well.
Angel McMaster: “Ugh, Verity, have you seen my dad?”
Verity shook her head.
Verity Sinclaire: “I was supposed to meet you and him here… where…”
Out of nowhere, a crowd of people screamed as Angel rushed off to see what had happened, curious. There, Mitch McMaster hopped out of a convertible which read ‘HEY BITCH’ on the windshield for some reason. He had driven through a crowd of people, and several women got out of the vehicle alongside him, only for him to proceed to chase them in circles around the car.
Angel McMaster: “Dad! Stop letting these women flirt with you, you have a match! Don’t let them seduce you.”
Mitch McMaster: “You’re right honey… fucking harlots. HEY BITCH, YOU’RE A HARLOT.”
He pointed at the woman nearby he had been chasing, some brunette, who knows. Then out of nowhere, Chellsea appeared.
Chellsea: “I guess you both think this is cute, huh, and that you have it easy tonight, Angel? Well don’t get used to it.”
Angel McMaster: “I always have it easy, I’m Angel…”
Chellsea: “Let me finish, because the morning before Wrestling With Christ, you’re going to be in action against a surprise opponent in the main event of CCW Sunday School.”
Chellsea glared at her, and Angel smugly pattered the CCW World Championship.
Angel McMaster: “Tell them I’ll be waiting.”
She turned only to run into Mykie Villanueva, who was followed closely by Mitch McMasters old friend and stable mate Barry, who looks like Batista so you get the joke.
Mykie Villanueva: “See you soon, champ.”
She said as she taunted her, before walking away and leaving Angel looking annoyed. Mitch was staring at Chellsea’s butt as she walked away, then looked to Angel.
Mitch McMaster: “Why was Barry here?”
Before Angel could let out her annoyed sigh, Santana Johnson tried to attack Mitch and the two have a screaming match as people from the locker room try to break them up!
Santana Johnson def. Mitch McMaster[/size][/i]
Pool Party Massacre
If Santana wins, he receives a shot at the CCW World Championship.
After a rousing entrance to ‘Eff Grandad’ by Thugnificent of Boondocks fame, Santana was blindsided by Mitch McMaster who hit him with a weed wacker. He was too drunk to get it started, but even while drunk Mitch wrestled like a pro, half his classics against Edmonton Sharpe back in the day were drunk!
Santana and Mitch battled back and forth for a large portion of this contest, with Santana fighting him around the ringside. Angel McMaster watched on from a custom throne at ringside, taunting Santana with the title when he’d look to her. But this didn’t stop him from squaring up on Mitch, then eventually attempting to drown Mitch in the pool. But this didn’t stop McMaster… He had so much alcohol in him right now he might have been immortal, so he kicked Santana and hit him in his big ol dick.
Santana: “AH, MY BIG OL DICK”[/i]
He said it like that, he did, trust me, I was there. Mitch was getting fired up! Santana pulled a knife and stabbed at him, Mitch catches his hand and knocks the knife away! Repeated headbutts! Santana had taken trauma to the head so much, his one weakness! Just in his career, not in this match in general! Mitch then grabbed a random boat paddle we just had here because beach for some reason and broke it over Santanas head, then lifts him up, McMaster Move for the 1… 2…. 2 ½… KICKOUT OH MY GOD THE CROWD CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
Mitch McMaster: “You wanna be crazy, I’m gonna be crazy!”[/i]
Mitch yelled, grabbing some lighter fluid and dragging Santana into the ring. He doused the ring in lighter fluid, but he then grabbed Mitch by his big ol dick!
Santana: “PRISON RULES MOTHERFUCKER!”[/i]
Santana did not treat the penis with the gentleness required and threw Mitch into the turnbuckle. Angel looked on in horror.
Santana: “GONNA BURN THIS OLD MOTHERFUCKER!”[/i]
Mitch McMaster: “DON’T BURN ME.”[/i]
He then lit the ring on fire but both of them were in it and this did not go according to plan. Both of them jumping out of the ring on fire as Santana jumped into the water, and Mitch got put out by a fire extinguisher. Mitch was still crawling around, smoking, when Santana came back up out of the water by him and drove him into the ground with his finisher, both men smoking on the ground as he pins him… 1… 2… 3…
Angel McMaster rushed to the ringside and blindsides Santana as he celebrates his win. Angry about her father, she stomps away at him, before lifting him over head and hitting him with the Angel From Above!
Saylor Stanhouse: “Angel just like, out of nowhere here, but can you blame her?! What this man did to her father!”
Nate Paxton: “I agree, it’s all on Santana!”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Santana did what he had to do and now he has to pay for it? Mitch tried to set him on fire first!”
Angel was tending to her father nearby, security finally getting here and we hear Santana yelling, still conscious.
Santana Johnson: “I’MA BE CCW CHAMPION, WATCH YO ASS.”
Lazlo Goodlove: “Santana Johnson wins a shot at the gold at Wrestling With Christ and… wait a minute. Something backstage?”
Backstage, or well, behind the tent, Jacob Kuntz watched a monitor, a trail of sand behind him because he had became a part of the sand.
Voice but it sounds spooky like a ghost: “See, that could have been your dick out there being grabbed, or doing the grabbing, dick guy.”
Jacob Kuntz: “Why are you doing that voice? It’s sexy, continue.”
Marty Kovacs: “Okay bye.”
Clearly Jacob Kuntz had something on his mind as he watched on, clearly wanting the CCW World Championship… but what did that mean?!
Several weeks later, the show had been taped, but something had happened… CCW’s twitter account had been taken down because some dumbass with access to the account typed the word ‘covid’ in a tweet. For real, don’t do that, they think you’re a bot. The set remained on the beach, but upon arrival, the man noticed there was no one there. But blood stains all over the beach, the ring burned to a cinder…
Man: “Where did everyone go?”
The guy said as he walked into the ghost town of a wrestling show, eventually walking past several bodies floating face down in a pool such as a blonde man, some big muscley guy, that might have been a hell cat, some stabby deathmatch guy and more. Eventually, the man picked up a flyer and began to turn it over, the blood soaked logo appearing in front of him..
Man: “The fuck is Super Wrestling With Christ, and why is it in Saudi Arabia?”
Before he could say anything else, someone leaped out of the sand and dragged him beneath it like that movie Sand Sharks, because I want a Sand Sharks reference in here.
